by Darryl Cherney

(Dm) Now we've got five billion people (A)

And this (Dm) planet we're gonna spoil (A)

We can't nearly feed the half of (A) them

'Cause we've ruined all of the top-(Dm) soil

But you know there's a solution

We've got to implement right away

We've got to compost what we make the most

Five billion turds a day

Chorus:

(Dm) Five billion turds a day (A)

(Dm) Five billion turds a day (A)

We've (Dm) got to compost what we (A) make the most

Five billion turds a (Dm) day

Now turds they make good fertilizer

But we no longer deliver

Instead of putting it down in the dying ground

We flush it into the river

Now flushing away that organic matter

Well you know that it's a sin

But one little turd won't do the trick

Everybody's got to pitch in

Now you might think that it's uncouth

To take your dump outside

But I do a little dance and pull down my pants

And relieve myself with pride

(Repeat Chorus)

So people we can save the world

If we just start saving feces

We can save all of God's little starving children

And all of the endangered species

So get yourself a composting toilet

Hey you can get over the smell

'Cause we've got to think beyond the stink

Or the planet's gonna go to hell

When you're done put in a bit of straw

Then the microbes start their lappin'

They break it on down into fertile ground

And that's how compost happens

So if you're living in a condo or a hippie shack

You've got to start right away

And glory in the fact that you're just one

Of five billion turds a day!

Copyright 1992 by Darryl Cherney, PO Box 34, Garberville, Ecotopia 95542

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